Self Centered

I do not accept many things which I should have. Even when I know I am wrong. Few things should be the way I want them to be. Not right or wrong. More we learn in life more things from wrong zone shifts to the right zone. Means my domain, to do wrong and still find a reasonable reason to support it, increases. But sadly only my domain to do wrong increases! My expectations domain does not change. I can do wrong but I cannot accept anything wrong. The more I learn or should I say grow, I should be more acceptable, more understanding. Instead I become more particular and more self centered.

Doctors Farm

Doctors Farm
The place belongs to a doctor and indeed he is a doctor. It works like a filtering machine which will filter all your stress and will leave you relaxed. You can call it a nature therapy, a stress buster or a chill pill.
Got up at 0530 Hrs (seems that we have to get ready to go to school) and still could not manage to reach on time. Some unavoidable circumstances, as we always call it. Started at around 0700 Hrs from powai. Reached the first meeting point. A gang of around 30. Off to kolad for the weekend.
First stop at Kamath – Missal paav seems to be the breakfast referred by all the health conscious guys (those who are consciously not doing any exercise even their beer bellies are growing more than the India’s GDP growth rate). Slightly unhealthy breakfast followed by a super cool fag. Not to forget all the crispy chips and juice on the way.
Glowing green seems to be the theme for that particular day. Amazing, glowing, green morning. We reached the place after one more hour of green bath. Thanks to the flawless navigation by G and M and few interruptions by one local cowboy and gaon ki goris who told us the right way to reach the place.
We checked in a dormitory which was designated for girls and girls checked in the rooms far away from us. Everybody jumped in the bed and few like me slept like we have come there to sleep. Then started the typical ‘Boys dormitory’ fun. It was like somebody had pressed a refresh button and all our college days memories got refreshed. One hour of most intellectual session of the trip. Few who were very unlike me took the initiative and decided to go to a waterfall. Seems exciting but not indeed until it was announced that beers will also be following us. These beers, I don’t know how, but reaches almost everywhere we go.
Before leaving for the waterfall we had a small sports break and almost everybody showed their impeccable skills. Sports reveal a totally different self in us.
The way to waterfall was a one way road not by choice but by chance. Our car and a bus had a head on meeting in the middle of the road. Then finally the bus driver agreed to take the bus back to a point from where we can cross each other without colliding. We had to park the cars on a bridge, two ways for a change and we used the other way for parking. So after all this little interruptions we reached to the semi-final destination. Final destination is to have fun and we will reach there too.
The water fall was not very big but enough to bring out the kid in us. We all wanted to reach to the point where it was falling. Few took their own way and few helped others in making it there. Good weather, good company and certainly a very good place to chill and relax.
It was around evening when the second session of the trip began. The party. Half open place like a room with ceiling covered and one side opened to a river and the other to the guest house. The next thing which turned out in the favour of the party was that there was no mobile signal. Place was far away from highway to have network. Nobody was busy on phone. Everybody had to sit there. Party started in a very gentle way. Everybody was having drinks. Quietly talking to the people around. Music in the background. Everybody relaxing. And in between some people will get up and start dancing to the ‘pappu cant dance’ and ‘main tally ho gayi’. Then after a couple of drinks Somebody gave the brilliant idea of making a punch as we used to make in college. They mixed almost everything. Beer, whisky, vodka, black rum, white rum, sprite, water, lemon, ice, few small insects which were flying around, all the tangy sweat and lots of flavor to make it just wonderful.
Party started to pick up the pace faster than us. And we have to take few quickies to reach to the level. The mood was totally changed. Everybody screaming and dancing. Few decently and few not so decently but enjoying. It stretched for about 5 hours. Drinks, dance, music, food, jokes, push-ups, poetry, fun, smiles, laughs, joy. It was just the perfect ending of a wonderful day.
This brings to the end of part one. Part two has got little different experience. Adventurous might be the right word.

Perfectly Imperfect

Lets start about Mumbai. At first sight you will not love this place, moreover if you are from a small town, chances are more that you will dislike mumbai. Too much crowded, local train and the feeling that somebody will come, rob you and you will not be able to do anything, somebody will steal your luggage or the auto rickshaw guy will keep rotating you in big circles and will ask too much money from you. At least this is how I thought. I traveled to many countries in the world but never felt so insecure. Finally after all my good luck and by gods grace I got a job in Mumbai. And I am here since last 8 months and totally in love with this place. Most probably the perfect place to live in India. Vada paav, samosa paav, local train, auto rickshaw, marine drive, gate way of India, alibagh, elephanta caves, aksa beach, Tata Memorial Hospital, IIT Mumbai, siddhi vinayak mandir, haaji ali, amitabh bachchan, juhu beach and chowpaati, Bandra band stand, countless wonderful restaurants, hawain shanks(disque), Hard rock café, juhu on toes, Tian, aare colony. So much to do here. So much to live with. Full of life and the pace. National anthem before a movie starts. 9 out of ten times the auto rickshaw bill will be same if you are commuting from one place to other. Like in my case as I commute from office to home. Auto rickshaw guy will even give you one rupee back and will never try to exploit you. You can have a good meal in 25 Rs and sometimes even 2500 Rs will not be enough. You can go to juhu beach at midnight and sit there for hours without anybody disturbing you. Buy a T-shirt and wear it round the year because no winter here. Want to live in with your girlfriend this is the place. Nobody mind anybody. There is always enough space in the local train to accommodate you. People living in one room welcome their relatives and friends from outside with unexpected warmth. Nobody will tell you a wrong address. People are generally helpful and ground to earth. Cosmopolitan at its best. People from all over the country live here in harmony. I think the only place in India where theater is still alive. Plays and live concerts and all by finest of artists. Girls are safe here. Live alone, travel alone even late in the night, no problems. This is what Mumbai is. Perfect.
Since the time the series of bomb blasts started almost everybody expected that one day or the other this will happen in Mumbai too. I think terrorists also love Mumbai as we do. They want to make it big here and they did. They made it so big that all of us are shocked to the core of mind and heart. Everything seems to be little unsafe again. All the joy of going to places and enjoying moments is converting into helplessness. You are not safe in the office, nor in the home and nor on the road. They can come at any place and shoot a bullet at you. Life has suddenly became a warfront and I the victim. That is what I have become. A victim of the terror and shock. The love for Mumbai made it too sweet to be sour. Perfectly Imperfect.
But as I always believe in

हर रात की एक सुबह होती है,
जिंदगी के बाद एक और जिंदगी होती है.

I will not let this shock wave drown me. And so the people everywhere in Mumbai are thinking. Life will come to a normal again and this place will continue to be the most vibrant city in India.

Strong and still going

I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was something which I could not recognize. The second thing also I could not recognize. No wrong. I can not recognize anything. I am in a new world.

I will describe this feeling of coming to a new world if I could. One day. For sure!

All I could manage was a stare. Long and steady. Into the eyes of somebody who was staring at me more intently than me. Strange! He touched my face and his expression changed. That was better than the stare. I also joined him in the change but not for the better. I felt little uneasy and started crying. Nobody taught me to cry if I feel uneasy or to smile, like the other guy, if he is happy. But we both expressed ourselves in most natural way.

He started moving me in all the directions possible and started saying something which I could not understand. I got scared and stopped crying. He smiled again. I bring smile to him even I if cry. Seems his behavior is immune to what I do. Strange again!

I felt something in my stomach and I started crying. Somehow they could make it out and the guy who was holding me opened my mouth and put something in it. I felt better. But I did not know what to do with that. Everybody waited, including me. Then I just gulped it. Nobody taught me to do that either but I did it. I felt better and they put more in mouth and I gulped more. Party time I think!

So today I learned an important lesson. Cry if something is bothering you and you will get the job done.

I must tell you about me now. My name is , I don’t know. They haven’t named me yet. I am one hour old now strong and still going.

Good Morning

I was in the middle of sleep. Somebody rang the bell of my house. I wake up and soon started to find you around me. You were not there. I looked in the other room. You were not there. Where have you gone?

The bell rang again.

I went to check the door. My friend was on the door. I opened the door.

I turned around and again started to think about you. Little anxious now! Where have you gone without telling me. It never happens that you do not tell me before going anywhere. Why suddenly you have disappeared.

Just then I realized that u were never there. I was in some other world. A world created by me. A balloon filled with dreams. World inside a chocolate cake!

I Came back to sleep again. As soon as I closed my eyes I got you. My eyes did not let me feel you around me. Now I could see your face. You live in this world. My world!

I slept peacefully never to wake up again. I want to stay with you forever.

It was around 0600 hrs in the morning. My phone rang. I wake up. You again disappeared. I picked up the phone. It was you saying “Good Morning”.

Gandhi Jayanti Vs Eid Mubaarak

All the mails are still alive in my mind. There is a discussion about the bomb blasts and hindu muslim thing in one of the forums I am a member of. So we (as we all are the member of that forum and know all the guys involved) followed the discussion and put forth all the brilliant stuff all night long.

Today is 2^nd October and about 0830 Hrs in the morning. I have to go to borivali station to pick my friend who is coming to Mumbai to visit me. I took an auto from marole to andheri station and then I will take a train from there to reach borivali. Local train again. All these mails about bomb blasts did nothing but made me think more and more about it. And the more I think the more I get worried. Bombay is not safe. Being Gandhi Jayanti today it becomes a perfect occasion too. I hate it when Gandhi ji is in any way connected to such mishappenings. His birthday gives a reason for people to plant bombs and kill each other. Occasion, as it should be called. His soul must be aching with utter disgust and he must have cursed himself of either his birth or the fact that he is Gandhi. He must have reconsidered his whole life and preferred to remain a common man. See the power of evil.

As I was moving in auto I noticed something really fresh about the day. I noticed few hoarding greeting Eid mubaarak. I confirmed with the auto guy. Today is Eid. After a few initial thoughts of my personal experiences about the festival I came back to bomb blast series. I suddenly felt relaxed and you know why. I felt that today there cannot be any bomb blast. At least today there wont be any. No logics here. This is a pure gut feeling.

May be the discussions we always have, may be my limited knowledge of all these mishappening or may be because of all the bollywood movies I see. I don’t know why I reach to such a conclusion with such invalid premises.

I reached to one more conclusion and this time also the premises are invalid. I think god only scheduled everything in such a way that the two occasions clashed together and peace won the battle. I said the premises to be invalid as I don’t believe in god, at least not the kind we generally talk about (temple and/or mosque and/or church type).

Today is 3^rd october around afternoon and I am relaxed. I know that there was no big nuisance yesterday and everything went well.