Thursday, April 30, 2009

Few Thoughts and a Calendar

The air combed my hairs, hugged me, held my hand, filled my heart with joy and touched my soul. Loneliness can make your senses more sensitive I guess.
I liked standing on the upper deck, walking peacefully on bridge wings, staring endlessly at the never ending sea, letting the air touch my soul again and again. I stood there almost every day. I thought of the same thing almost every day.
My life at sea was barely more than a few thoughts and a calendar. A slash across the date was never so meaningful I guess.
I lived in very limited co-ordinates, though I was travelling the world. Life was a little dimensionless I guess.
I signed off after 6 months. Leaving something, you have lived with quite some time, was certainly never so pleasant I guess.

Monday, April 27, 2009


‘Why don’t you buy a TV’ is the most common advice I am getting these days. Or a few will express it in a more shocking way. ‘You mean you don’t have a TV’. There are many more things which I do not have for that matter. But TV just stands out of all these. I am still single, becoming fat and do not have a moon reaching career seems unimportant when my not having a TV issue comes up.
One of my very good friends forcibly bought me a TV tuner card so that I can watch TV on my laptop. But little did he know that I will not accept it so easily. The card is still packed intact and occupying a very big portion of my not so big shelf.
Few suggested me to buy a second hand TV, just in case it is the matter of money. I also can sell the second hand one and will not end up paying much. But my slightly uneconomical mind does not agree to that either. In the recession times I guess these ideas will work wonders for both the common man and companies.
Seems that having TV gives you a Tele----Vision means a more clear and future oriented look on your thought process. Or may be it is like wearing a U@#$%^&*@. ‘Oh you mean you are just relaxed today’.
TV is like a ‘Biwi’. For bachelors very much loved and useful and for married another affair. What more you can ask for when both husband and wife are having an affair with the same thing.
I never was a visionary and will never be; I guess (till I buy one Tele---Vision). But if you really want to kill the time without even noticing, TV is the one.
But somehow I am trapped in this whole mess as I do watch a particular TV show on my laptop via internet. This does not weaken my argument of having a vision free life. As it is I am not doing anything to achieve my vision; if at all I have one!!!!

P.S. - Replace TV with Aim or Vision or Goal and then read...May be it will make more sense...But for me it still remains the same.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Kona-Kona SWOT Analyis

I am playing a game of kona kona with my Self, Wealth, Opportunities and Threats. With me as the person who is trying to find a safe place.
Let me tell you a bit more about this game. We used to play this game in school when we were kids. Four people will occupy the four corners of the room. Fifth person will be corner-less and will try to get a corner for him as the others will be exchanging corners/places.
Though this is not a rule but the one who does not have a corner is teased by the others who have it and/or have exchanged the place/corner making a fool out of him. It is somehow inborn in us that we do not like anybody to make fool of us. Fools we are. Are not we? My self realization is dependent on others reaction.
My self and wealth exchanged the position. I tried to grab the position of wealth but got a bit late. Now my self is acquired by wealth and in hope of wealth I lost the place of self. So what am I left with? No self and no wealth. Self is in position of wealth. I wanted wealth that is why I ran for it but could not grab it. They both teased me a bit.
Wealth seems to be very cunning. He exchanged the place with opportunities now. All bloody wealth is converted into opportunities so now if at all I take the place of wealth I will only get opportunities and then I have to take the hard route to convert it into wealth.
All this while there is one thing which was running in mind continuously. There is something which I exactly did not want to happen. I do not want opportunities and threats to exchange place. I mean I do not want my opportunities to convert into threats. That is why I was keeping a constant eye on the opportunities and threats. Because of this self and wealth exchanged position many times. Effortless transition from one position to another! This transition somehow distracted my concentration and there you go. Bloody opportunities and threats have exchanged positions. Now everything is turned over on its head.
Final SWOT Analysis
I am left with no self and no wealth as I could not occupy any place moreover both has made a joke out of me. Wealth many a times converted in opportunities and finally opportunities converted into threats.
This certainly is not my favorite game any more.
If I get a safe place I will probably stick to it. That will make it worse as I will never be able to acquire other different places.
Play ‘I spy’, play ‘suraj chhand’, run for the ‘cheel ki parchaai’ but do not play kona kona and if you have to play it choose your mates carefully.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Words of Wisdom

'International Airport' Andheri wala. and I sat in the auto.
I had taken bath before leaving home so I was very relaxed and planning to have a good silent conversation with self in the auto ride. but my planning lived only for a short while and a speed breaker(Broken road) broke the silent trip as well as the silence of the driver.
after customary welcome slangs he started to wonder at the sorry state of the roads of mumbai.
'I don't know why they cant make good roads in mumbai, after all they are earning so much in mumbai.'
'now a days even election time does not provoke leaders enough to keep their basic promises.'
'rich men are getting richer and poor do not have the place to sleep and a thing to eat.'
'bumbai main bahut paisa hai. people are even earning on phone. just talking to each other and earning dalaali.'

Hold on cowboy! Its my turn now.
'Are you from M.P.' I asked. 'How do u know' with a big smile he said.
That was the first time he smiled in the full conversation(one sided).
'Accent u know', 'I had a knack for accent.'
I myself did not know that I will say such a thing ever but i just did. Strange!
now he introduced himself more formally before putting his views on the general sorry state of everything. Since last 34 years he is an auto driver in mumbai. and he can talk about almost everything you say or think.
'Mumbai main agar power cut ho jaaye to this place will be a dead place. Only 24 hours electricity is keeping this place alive.' totally agreed.
'I have seen murders happening on the mumbai roads. nobody cares for anybody.'
'I also had the chance of going to dubai and making it big when I was young. but I was too scared to take that chance. gaanv ka budhdhi hai na isiliye. You have to travel via ship and you dont know when you will be back in india. scary scenario'
'Oh you are working in a software company. Lage raho. ek naa ek din aap successful ho hi jaaoge' quiet impressive words of wisdom, i must say.
I think I like talking to strangers. Especially drivers. I dont know but I could always have a good conversation with all sorts of drivers.
I gave him the fare. He did not even looked into the meter to cross check.
'It was nice to have somebody from our side(though i am not from M.P. but not being from mumbai and being from a neighbour state, makes me from his side)'. We exchanged smiles and I turned back and left.

Friday, April 3, 2009


दिल के
इन ख़यालों पे,
हम लगा देंगे,
तू मत आना,
की अभी
बाकी है,
सपनो में,
बग़ावत की
एक उम्मीद
बाकी है,
मैं सो जाऊं
लुट जाए,
ये भी तो,
जायज़ नहीं,
सुबह सुबह
मैं कहीं
खो जाऊं
ये भी तो
जायज़ नहीं.........