Conversational Genius

I am feeling a little thirsty. Can you get me some water please?

Who asked you to drink so much yesterday. I guess doctor Krishnan must have prescribed you to have 4 large pegs of SINGLE MALT to cure the loneliness.

Why you females always think that we become ‘rickshaw wallas’ after drinking. BTW did you notice that lonely girl in the party? Why was she looking so sad?

Was this an after effect of the divine drink or you are generally very ‘observative’ in the parties.

I keep my eyes open, so that I can see the beauty around regardless of my state. But now the little finger of my left foot is asking for a drink. And this time it is plain water. And I want to help her desperately.

I also want to help you, not so desperately though, but just wish that it would be ‘he’ not a ‘she’ whom you are so craving to help.

See you are not even good at wishing things. Wish more babu, wish bigger, with an open heart.

I too had a heart once upon a time. But now in the vain to protect everything from loosing, I just don’t stop and couldn’t feel that I have it any more.

This TV is so full of shit and especially these news channels. Look now they are reporting about a dog that travels in Mercedes. Whatever…

I have not seen this painting, which I made when you proposed me, since long. Oh god its so…..can you tell me that story of rose and daal-chaawal once more.

You know where that story ends. So you want a pictorial demonstration or a voice conference will be ok for you ma’am!

Your little finger of left foot wanted some water I guess. I will get it for the poor fellow. Can we go out for dinner today?

Can We?

Your sense of humor is just fantastic. You should open a humor designer firm and consult people to increase their level too.

You know this forum ‘22 knots’ of my college alumni, right? Mr. Basu wrote a one liner. Everybody came up with a suggestion. Few analytical one, few helping one, few a little criticizing and few are just plain observative. Finally that led to Mr. Basu hoping in front of his computer screen.

I hope you are not telling me this because we just did that.

Come on we are not like this.

My Stories in 55 Words

I tried to write three stories in 55 words. Here it is....

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The old blade messed his grown beard more than his relationship. He has plans of sealing the lips and life with a kiss. The broken mirror didn’t let him see his face. She hated unpleasant surprises. He didn’t want to surprise her either.

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I was born smiling and thought that I will die also like that. I saw her and I smiled. I saw her sleeping in my arms and I smiled. Every time I smiled I almost died. Today she left me. I couldn’t smile. I don’t want to live but couldn’t smile to death either.

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She loved her mirror. She could look back in past with that. She was beautiful and wanted to be more. Her face in the mirror was a thing of past. Her mirror though told her about the comparatively less beautiful present. She threw it to run away from present, but lost the past too.

I m Patient

How much time do you take in there! Hurry up, I also have to empty my stomach.
Look, there is only one thing which I specifically do not like and that is to wait, so please do not make me wait. And come ASAP.
How slow is your typing? If you will type at this speed we will be in the office for the whole night. Come on now, do it fast.
Why the fuck are you pressing the horn. Do one thing, get a pair of wings and fly over my head. Idiot!
Why are you kissing me so impatiently! Relax! Just feel the touch, do it gently, you will like it better.
I wish I could read a bit faster and could finish all the five articles in 10 minutes, shit man! Why I am such a slow.
Last few days on board and then I will be a free bird again. God is just great.
Life is running on a fast track. I will finish my beer fast and will join the race.
While watching movies on the VCR last night, I forward the songs and boring emotional scenes. I like fight scenes and only watch fight scenes at the original pace.
You know what, my dad caught me yesterday while watching English movie on TV. As it is I waited for one and a half hour for a ‘scene’. Finally got caught and couldn’t see anything.
These articles about lifestyle in the newspaper are so boring. Why do these people always preach us about being patient?
Mom, can I sleep a bit faster? Just like a jet plane! Sleeping and again waking up faster!
If I breathe slowly as they do it in yoga, I don’t get enough air to breathe and that really suffocates me. This breathing slowly really seems a little tricky.
Get married soon, and start your family then. What are you waiting for now?
I am a patient of lack of patience. See I am not even patient enough to be a proper patient.

.....

अब आज जो निकले हैं, दम भर के निकले हैं,
मेरे अरमान थोड़े नम से निकले हैं,
बाँटते थे यह नमी हम हर सुबह की शबनम से,
मौसम जो बदला तो बारिशो में नहा कर निकले हैं......