I Don't Know

I never pray. Except for a few exceptions. Whenever I have overhauled a purifier (when I was working on a ship. that’s a machinery used on ships to Purify oil) I always started it with the name of god. I don’t know but I could never trust myself and the machinery enough to be assured that it will run properly. That will prove at least one thing that I am not a Non-believer. People like me who doesn’t pray routinely, never go to a temple, don’t think that they belong to any specific religion should not be considered as atheist. I am not a non-believer. I believe in self. I believe in present. I believe in life. I believe in love.

Purifier as I said leads to one exception in my normal behaviour. These kind of situations bring out a totally different human in me. I can’t control such situations and they can move the course of my life. I am not talking about missed opportunities but about unavoidable circumstances from where there is no coming back. The songs which we cannot rewind and listen again. I cannot identify these situations explicitly but I am sure everybody faces such situations. That is when I pray. When my belief comes into play.

When it comes to praying for a reason, I did it twice and got a 50% result.Someday I will do it again without thinking much about the outcome. Just in a hope that I will get what i want, without a strong belief on the process or on the persons involved. Otherwise also I don’t believe in god but the question remains. What will lead me to either side of this paradox. What will I get if I choose to be on the other side of it.